can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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