I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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