I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
whose ass print is on the piano?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
