Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
