i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
