sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
