Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
