Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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