walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
