how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
