Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
