Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The adults are the big ones right?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
