i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
