Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
