in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The adults are the big ones right?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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