In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
only if we run a train.
done.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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