I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
