i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
How does it feel to date your dad?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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