I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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