Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
A bitchslap is in order.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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