there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
