I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
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