Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
