I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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