I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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