i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
