what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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