So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
