I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
