you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
