Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
