Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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