one two three fourrrrnication!
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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