P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
