Fuck appropriateness.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
