you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
