I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
