whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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