we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize