hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
