I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
