White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
