I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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