If i come over, it means nothing
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
