I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
