You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you told grandpa to call you daddy
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
