I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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