Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
