and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
