we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
