You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
